Sunday 26 June 2011

The Flop Chart: Natalia Kills

Yes, once again the time has come to scalp basic bitches and throw shade at everyone you hold dear to your pathetically basic hearts. Yes, it is the one and only,  now infamous addition to the WNHFT blog. You know what it is, the 3rd addition of THE FLOP CHART!

Once again, imma explain this in case y'all basic ass hoes don't know what this is. Basically, once a week i will rate an artist depending on what i personally feel like reviewing, whats hot on messaging boards and some of the responses we get on the official WNHFT twitter blog. This week, the result was kinda unanimous when it came to who i should cover this week. Its the one and only queen of Dark pop and flopping...

NATALIA KILLS


Yep, This week 'imma review the girl who has been the 'next big thing' for the last few hundred years, the one and only Natalia Kills. I'm bi-polar with Miss. Kills, but it had to be done. In terms of success, records sold, live performances and her image, she is a flop. Please read/sip some of the true ass tea below and get educated on another one of the flops currently fading into obscurity at the bottom of singles charts, album charts and peoples ability to care all over the world.

1) Natalia has what we in the 'buisiness' call Chronic Shade disorder. This means Natalia has a really nasty habit of throwing some pretty serious shade at artists better/more successful than she is. Some of these artists include the likes of Christina Aguilera, Lady GaGa and Rihanna. This would be acceptable, as urrbody is allowed an opinion, even flops. But when your acts and gimmick is ripped off from all these people and countless others, its probably best to keep it cute.
2) Her live perfomances are abysmal. When i saw the flawless Kelis back in October Natalia mimed her entire set. Miming is OKAY for Britney, but a new act looking to try and impress a new audience and garner attention to herself that isn't associated with 'she talked shit about _____', miming and looking like one of the pig out of 'Babe' whilst doing so is NOT a good idea.
3) The music itself is hit and miss. The whole 'im angry and don't fuck with me, Kay?' shit has been done to death by Rihanna during the Rated R era, long before anyone knew who Natalia Kills was. Why should they care now that a less convicting version of the original singer is doing so, but with less impressive results?
4) The final and most important fact, Natalias act is faker than a pound store barbie doll called 'Bolly' who's boyfriend is called 'Denny' and has no 'friends'. Over the last 5 years Natalia has changed her act at least 5 times (Verbz, Natalia, Verbalicious) and the whole 'ive always been dark' shit sounds LIKE shit when we've all seen the videos of her on youtube back when she was talking about how much she loved shopping and cock as opposed to the Natalia Act, in which 'vanity, sex and money are the best, but other less important things are shit' becomes so fake its harder to swallow than a fist full of soroxat, which is something Natalis see-through act may urge you to do.
5) For someone who is always rattling on about 'artistic credibility' and how you feel a lot of acts are generic when compared to your 'mastery' of dark pop (is that even a fucking genre?) when your next single has been remixed to feature Will.I.Am and your CURRENT single is a feature on LMFAO's single, needless to say when it comes to Natalia Kills and the generic acts she trys so hard to distance herself from, its really a case of 'Hello Pot, Meet the Kettle'.

And those gawrls, are why Natalia Kills is one of the biggest flops in music right at this moment. Natalia sis, i HATE to say this to ya (again), but when it comes to Success. always the brides maid, and never the bride... NEVER, the bride...

This is Busty St.Clair signing out, wishing you good health, good luck and hoping that after the last few weeks Ive taught you NOT to stan for a basic ass hoe like good 'ol Natalia Kills. If you like it, subscribe/follow this blog for more shady goodness. If not, well then...


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